tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251195309464439986.post7003649891387513534..comments2024-02-10T14:34:29.008-05:00Comments on bush baby colvin: before you join a tribe part one: call your mombushbabycolvinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01253784132948779336noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251195309464439986.post-88133762216725703322018-11-25T18:49:45.166-05:002018-11-25T18:49:45.166-05:00I was going to comment similarly to the two above ...I was going to comment similarly to the two above me. I'm thankful that over the yrs, the Lord has given me older women to mother and support me, and to my kids people who have taken them under their wings as "grandkids", cause my God-given mother abdicated years ago. She barely tolerated the kids once they got older than babies, though she is better now that they are tween/teen and not as "annoying". <br /><br />And to find other families who love God, love their spouses, love their children, and make their family a priority....yeah. I lived lonely for years, as I stayed at home in a world that does not. As I prioritized family dinners over 8 million evening church activities (that surprisingly didn't teach one how to study the Bible or pray or grow), I was unable to be "involved". I live in the deep south, too, the straight up Bible-belt, and it's been a long, dry time for years, with an oasis here, another one there. <br /><br />I feel strongly that the mothers of my generation failed us in so many ways....chasing after their careers vs teaching us and guiding us into motherhood and helping us to be better wives. How could they....when they failed their own husbands and their own children? So no, I don't seek my mother's "wisdom". Surprisingly, I am a spiritual mother to HER, vs the other way around. *I* have counseled HER in her marriage to my father...vs the other way around. I would have loved it to be the proper way, but it hasn't. Now my Grandmothers, I called them regularly while they still lived. We lived so far away, and I visited when I could, but I loved them hard while I still had them.<br /><br />So my "tribe" is comprised of anyone I can find who adores God and follows hard after Him. sometimes it might lack women who are older, and I lamented that while in my 20's....in my 40's, I no longer care. It's not my fault that the women older than me have chosen to lose their soul while chasing the world! That sounds harsh, and I don't mean it as such, but they follow a "wisdom" that is pure foolishness, and I won't look at them for guidance. (I have at times looked at their ways and chosen the exact opposite....kind of a reverse-wisdom....it has worked well in several instances...). <br /><br />So some people don't have godly elders to look at. I've been granted older, wiser people here and there, my peers and I have had times where we had to pray and do the best we could, and I have had to make it on my own at times. I won't apologize if my group now is mostly people my age. It wasn't my choice, but what was given to me at this time. Though I will say that my "tribe" doesn't perpetuate the sins of our elders...we include our children, we embody deuteronomy 6...with talking with our kids about God when we walk, and lie down, and go.... It's important to us to be spiritual parents to our offspring, and not just physical parents. Our children are included and taught and guided and we try to pass on the wisdom God has granted us. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251195309464439986.post-29625092351181375872018-10-26T03:51:59.783-04:002018-10-26T03:51:59.783-04:00I'm coming to this four years late, but I want...I'm coming to this four years late, but I wanted to note that there's a complexity for some of us: my parents love me, but they don't have time. They aren't materialistic or anything...they've allowed a very difficult life to crush them. As far as wisdom goes, they have apparently taken the tack that 90% of what is on the internet is true and ...that's all I'll say about that. <br /><br />I wish they had a desire to be part of my tribe that actually meant something. :( I really don't think our generation is responsible for this fragmentation, primarily.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3251195309464439986.post-16636164883898942202014-09-24T17:23:28.182-04:002014-09-24T17:23:28.182-04:00I haven't actually seen much online about trib...I haven't actually seen much online about tribes, but I've been online less lately. :) I see where you're coming from and agree with many of your points, especially about shoving the elderly away in American culture. It's a shame. As a child I wasn't taught to honor my grandparents, in the sense of valuing them the way you speak of here. It's only as a 30 year old with kids of my own that I am finally getting to know my 84 yr old grandmother who I see once or twice a year since, yes, we moved away. She has wisdom, and she knows the Lord. I mourn for our lost time (she's my only remaining grandparent left) and am trying to get it back. But: I want to point out that age cannot be equated with wisdom. I think spiritual age and physical age are different. While we are so excited to finally be on a community with many older people for the first time in our marriage and parenting, I believe it's important to be discerning with all advice. Does it measure up to Scripture? And, is it not merely passe, but actually wrong? A lot of the methods our parents and grandparents employed in their parenting fit in this latter category. (Thinking of my grandma's advice in some instances, "We used to give the baby rice cereal at 6 WEEKS," laying baby on front to sleep, etc). I'm sure you would agree here, just adding to the conversation. I would also add in the leave and cleave concept from Genesis 2. Yes, nuclear families are forming something new. The bible establishes this in the beginning. Maybe our culture has gone too far the other way (think children being "emancipated" from their parents), but I think it is biblical for the father to be the head of his household, the wife to submit to him, and so forth- not the great grandfather as patriarch and all older extended relatives having their say at all times. So some boundaries on advice and physical presence seem reasonable to me. Now, we don't live near the grandparents... So I don't have much personal experience, except to say that I do believe adult children cease to be children in the same way as young ones actually dependant on their parents. The relationship changes a lot.<br />Thanks for your post, it really got me thinking!<br /><br />PS msg me about whether you think you'll be coming to Seattle! We have a guest room... :)Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04731487727757364145noreply@blogger.com