doublemint twins

Every single person we pass by tells me that my daughter looks just like her father. I’ve come to accept that my precious-little-pink-wearing-girl-to-the core child looks like a 31 year old man. As she ages, I’m sure she’ll look more feminine and in the mean time I’ll drown her in as much girly-ness as I can.

It occurs to me that this is really a gift to her father. Bronwyn is a bit of a mama’s girl – the excessive breastfeeding has kind of bonded us together and we obviously share something special. The fact that his little girl is his TWIN should be a very special thing to Jeremy… except for the fact that HE DOESN’T SEE THE RESEMBLENCE! Seriously? I’m about to go buy this man a mirror, cuz obviously he’s forgotten what he looks like. Look at these two! It’s like seeing double, right?!?!

Silly Daddy. I love you. AND your spitting image. 

pray for this sweet baby!

A woman came to find me the other week and said, "Ba Bethany, I have something to show you." I was not prepared for what I would see next as she began to undress her baby and reveal two tiny little legs wrapped in thick white casts. I could see no feet and my first thought was, "Oh Lord does this baby just have stubs?" Tears started to come to my eyes as I imagined Bronwyn's perfect frame.  I soon came to find out that this two week old child, Beatrice, was born with clubbed feet and had been put in casts to straighten her feet out. We talked about what she needed and decided on a plan to take her into the hospital once per week to see the Orthopedist who just came to Mansa. (I actually met this man - he is Zambia, in his 60's and has worked in Germany and New York. Before he came, there were no options for a child born with any kind of physical deformity.)
Our first trip into the hospital with Beatrice and her mother was sad. =( She cried so hard as the doctors pulled on her feet to put them where they wanted them and then apply the casts. Newborn baby cries are so heart wrenching. I asked Bana Beatrice if I could take her baby's picture to ask friends in America to pray for her baby. She was very glad to receive the prayer.

Its hard for me to understand why some are blessed with perfect health and others must path through such great trials. All I can think to say to myself and others are the words of john 9:3:

"but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

May it be so, Lord. May it be so. 

how to eat an elephant

take me out to the (net) ball game!

This past weekend the ladies of Center took on Malamba in a netball match. The Center netball team was started as a way to promote the Learning Resource Center. Their field is right in front of the LRC and the hope was that the excitement of the netball games would attract onlookers who might not normally pass by the LRC, and grab their attention. "Ooh, netball! And the LRC! Books! Learning! Yeah!  

Anyway, so we are the "sponsors" of this netball team and we take them to neighboring villages for matches. (They haven't lost yet, actually. We are very proud.) 

Jeremy spent time engaging the little people in ways that he is awesome at, while Bronwyn and I stayed out of the sun. She was still super excited by all of the hubbub around her!

Jeremy and Chiti playing ball

so fun! so fun!

The ladies played an awesome match. They were especially excited to wear their new uniforms that we brought them back from Lusaka - we are the ones in blue.

After a while, I noticed that all of the kids were standing by the land rover looking at Bronwyn - not watching the game at all. We finally stepped into the sun for a bit to give them a better view.

Its interesting how this "mizungu baby" attracts so much attention. People are absolutely fascinated by her. I am constantly getting requests from random people to hold her. They always get big smiles on their face and just say over and over, "I've never held a white baby, I've never held a white baby! Hey look at me! I'm holding a white baby!" Bronwyn is totally non-plussed by all of the attention. Apparently nobody has told her that she's different. I hope she alway stays this way. 

4 months!

Oh  my goodness I can’t believe how big my baby is getting! I’m really enjoying these comparison shots, but they are getting harder and harder. Putting Bronwyn on her back automatically signals to her that she’s supposed to roll over, eat the chitenge, play with her feet and not cooperate in general. The “kids and pets” setting on my little camera does a pretty good job capturing her face ‘mid-flail’ but it still takes about 30 failed attempts before we get anything close to useable. Even still I didn't actually get her whole body in this one I see. HaHa. I love you baby girl!

look mom, I rolled over!

this goes in my mouth, i'm sure

roll with me people!

I'm HUGE!

The culture of motherhood: “medicine”

I’ve known for a long time that mothers use traditional medicine on their babies, but it hasn’t been until coming back with baby B that I have a better idea of what this all entails. I’m still figuring things out, but I’ll share at least a bit of what I have learned. The majority of babies wear around their neck a necklace made out of chitenge material. Wrapped inside the material is one of two things – either a piece of bark from a specific tree or some part of a snake (I still don’t know which part – my Bemba education has not yet included snake anatomy). The purpose of this necklace is to ensure that the baby’s skull forms properly. I know, “forms properly” is vague for me too, but that’s all I can get.

 I’ve started talking to every woman I know with a baby, asking why they put this around their child’s neck. “Its medicine,” is always the reply. When I press them on how it works, I only hear the same response of, “it helps the head form.” I ask whether the clinic teaches them how to do this, and they all tell me that no, there are specific women in the village who know how to do this and they are the ones who understand this tradition.

When it comes to tranditional medicine, I’m usually pretty skeptical. I understand that not all traditions are based in witchcraft, but the vast majority are, and I’m trying to understand whether these necklaces are connecting these women and babies to evil spirits. Since none of the women seem confused (like I am) about the fact that the material around the neck doesn’t put any medicine into the body, I’ve stopped trying to understand how this is supposed to work. Instead, I’ve started asking the women whether this necklace is using power from God or from the spirits. “It’s not witchcraft, its medicine,” they say confidently, and that’s pretty much that.

The conversation ends there as I’m the only one seeing logical problems with this method and I’m the only one questioning whether this might actually be connected to evil. The whole concept has raised an important question though: if no one believes that a current tradition is demonic, even if it originally was connected with demonic principles, does that remove them of evil consequences, or put them right in Satan’s path? I’m not sure. EVERY SINGLE MAMA talks to me about this tradition as if it is normal as giving your child tylonol. Hopefully I can find someone with additional information who might explain to me the history. The other interesting piece is that no one thinks that my baby is at risk even though she doesn’t wear this around her neck. Still trying to make sense of it all… I’ll keep you posted. 

the culture of motherhood: hats

Its cold season here. And by cold, I mean high 70's low 80's during the day. There is a belief that if you don't put a hat on your baby, cold air will get into the head via the soft spot and your baby will have brain damage and die. Once the soft spot is closed up, a hat is not essential, but still a good idea. Most people are appalled - truly - that I do not put a hat on Baby B's head all day every day. Usually my response of "she's sweating bullets" (or the Bemba equivalent of that phrase) appeases my critics, but its   a little intense how every single woman I pass will give me a "tisk, tisk" and tell me to cover my child's head if we are out and she is hatless. Even though I know that no air will enter her head via the soft spot and kill her, I do try to come across to the general population as an attentive mother. I won't let her head get all sweaty, but as long as it stays dry under there, I suppose I'll keep putting a hat on her head.

the Kazembe children, properly wearing their knit hats

                                   

wearing a hat, and making everyone happy