Why our cold season is better than yours

“Cold season” here is officially coming to the end, and as our American friends head back to school, I’m sure you’re well aware that your legit cold season will be nipping at your noses all too soon.

Growing up in upstate New York, I know what “cold season” is all about. I mean really, when your nose hairs have frozen in the five minutes it has taken you to walk from the car to the store and when you never take your coat off in class because you just can’t warm up, and when a snow blower is not a luxury item but an essential commodity… that’s when you know you have entered the realm of for real cold.

Zambians whine (sorry, ya’ll, you do.) about how cold it is from the end of May to the beginning of September. It gets down to 50 degrees Fahrenheit, which granted does feel cold when your house is not air tight and there is really no way to heat that 50 degrees up. The night time and mornings are admittedly a bit chilly, but “cold season” actually becomes a bit of a farce when, as the day goes on, the sun heats things up to around 85 and we start shedding layers to cool off. Most Zambians stay in their winter coats and stocking caps all day – I think the label “cold season” makes people perceive the temperature as cooler than it is. I get yelled at for letting Bronwyn run around naked, but I usually get off the hook by explaining that she was born in a freezing country and is therefore her body can withstand the “cold.” Not accurate, but it keeps people from wigging out on me.

snow bunny in the morning

beach babe in the afternoon

So there you have it, I've subjected you to my albeit subversive description of beautiful clear skies and balmy temps all “winter” long. Feel free to be jealous. Since that’s my real goal, anyway. And when that when that first ice storm hits, your tan lines have faded into a uniform, pasty white, and you can no longer feel your fingers, you are already primed to say, “This is lame. I’m moving to Zambia.” And here we shall be waiting with open arms. And sunscreen.

snow bunny in the morning

beach babe in the afternoon