Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Doing it all???

Jeremy told me today, “Bethany, when we have number two, I think you need to not try to do any programs and just focus on taking care of the kids.”

Oh the dilemma that every “working mom” faces. To work OR care for children OR multi-task and pray to God it all works out… these are the choices… and the difficulty. While I was still in the states, I talked about how it would be so nice to just be able to take my baby along with me to work, never missing a beat. Oh ignorant first time mother. It’s a true statement that bringing Bronwyn with me to meetings and workshops and whatnot IS fairly easy. People love holding her and I can stand in the front and talk and nurse at the same time and no one thinks that’s weird. Where the multi-tasking-working-mother difficulty comes in is more in the prep-work that aught to consume much of my time. I may only have scheduled programs a few mornings and a few afternoons a week, but the rest really should be spent in preparation. Flip charts need to be made and notes need to be written and research done and proposals drawn up… and one totally loveable, huggable, kissable, NEEDY little munchkin cared for. I do not AT ALL resent Bronwyn for needing me so much. I love that she needs me, and I love being there for her. I’m merely confessing that I feel a huge amount of pressure to try to make it all work. To try to me super mom, super missionary, super wife… all at once. And I don’t think I’m doing a very good job. Someone, (usually Jeremy, bless his heart) is always getting short changed. I can hear the voices of older, wiser women lovingly exhorting me, “Bethany, you can’t do it all…” Gaaaaahhhh!!!!!!! But I’m trying!!!!! 

updating the home based care register

writing pre-school curriculum

keeping Michael from falling off the seat
 - caring for other kids is work too!

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